It all started so innocently. I mean, really…I didn’t mean to lose my inner quiet on everyone, but I had a few days of madness, and, there it was. An innocent “share my meditation” became a full out screed. As my friend and awesome Yoga teacher Lisa says, “My brain went on speakerphone.”
But, perhaps I am getting ahead of myself, here. I’ll start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.
YogaDork. Very fun and lighthearted blog about Yoga. I love Yoga, and I am a Dork, so, really, it couldn’t have possibly been anything less than love. So, anyway, the fun folks over there had a little mini contest/contribution rally for cool springtime thoughts, meditations, and favorite asanas. Now, as a quasi-professional (which is to say: professional without a current paying gig) writer who can’t resist this sort of thing, I had to post. But, what? I skipped reading the other entries, and scurried off to Yoga Flow, as taught by the aforementioned Awesome Lisa. It wasn’t an easy trip. I piled my youngest child in to the station wagon and listened to her extensive statement of demands. Apparently, Miss Thing felt that there had better be some fun kids at the Y today, because her last visit had failed to meet her exacting standards for entertainment and social interaction. Plus, I was leaving behind a huge pile of unfolded laundry, a sink full of dishes, and a mound of tax paperwork to be done. And, really, shouldn’t I be putting my education to use and getting some “real” work? Why hadn’t I pitched any magazine articles lately? Clearly, there were many things I “should” be doing instead of practicing yoga today.
But then, during Savasana, it came to me. This WAS what I “should” be doing. Not only because I deserve to care for myself and Mama needs a little Prana sometimes, but also for everyone else in my home, my family, and my community. Because, without light, a prism is just a hunk of glass. And the energy and unity I feel in a good practice becomes the light that passes through my prism and becomes a full spectrum of beauty. And, in that room full of other people, mostly women like me, there were about 20 other prisms all being lit by our shared practice. Together, we were like a massive chandelier that could light our whole community with beauty from within.
So, on my euphoric post-practice high, I rushed home to jot down my meditation. Surely I wasn’t the only one out there who needed to think of myself as a prism rather than a hunk of glass! But, before I started to write, I settled in and read this article, linked from an email. The rage was strong with me, grasshopper. How patronizing! How demeaning! How devaluing of an entire group of people. (In this case, women with children who work from home. Like, um…Me.) The calmness of meditation was gone, and my Brain Monkeys were chattering in full voice. I was flooded with other slights, other signs that our society is off kilter. And, as much as I tried to set it aside to write my short meditation for YogaDork, the more the monkeys reminded me of similar slights from within yoga itself!
You see, I’m afraid I stumbled on one of those “AUTHENTIC” yoga types (“If you aren’t a vegan or a Hindu, or a Sanskrit-chanter, your yoga is inauthentic, like that exercise class stuff that middle aged women at the gym do!”) early on in my practice, and the rejection and dismissal was actually pretty hurtful! No new yogini should ever get the message that “you and people like you don’t belong here.” Yoga truly can be for everybody who wants it, moms, dads, single whippersnappers and elder adventurers. One of the most beautiful things it can give is a welcoming philosophical home for anyone who wants to unite body, mind, and spirit.
And, so, when I sat down to quickly share a mediation on prisms and inner light, the old brain went on speakerphone…and, well, babbling ensued. The good folks at YogaDork were kind enough to repost my comments in a whole new post, thus satisfying my decidedly un-Yogic need for external attention and validation. And, then I felt the need to reply to those comments further, and, well…
Perhaps it’s time to do some blogging again, myself, yes?
And so, in short, this is how PranaMama has come to be. I’ll post a further introduction to myself soon. Right now, I need to make dinner and sew a costume for the sixth grade play. Thank goodness for this morning’s Pranayama-heavy practice with Carrie…my prism needed all the light it could get!